Recently there was a birthday in our family, prompting thoughts about the significance of birthdays. We are in the habit of celebrating with a lavish spread of the birthday boy or girl’s favourite food. We make a cake, light the candles and sing “Happy Birthday”.

During lunch, the subject of birthday cards was raised. Expensive pieces of card or appreciated words of affirmation. Our conclusion was that your feelings about cards would depend on your primary love language. “The 5 love languages” by Gary Chapman is a must read for anyone wanting to optimise their relationships and understand both themselves and others. First published in 1992 it is as relevant today as when it was written.

The 5 love languages are:

• words of affirmation,
• acts of service,
• receiving gifts,
• quality time,
• physical touch.

Without the insight we gain from Gary Chapman’s work most of us show our love using our primary or preferred love language. Which may or may not be the same as that of the person we are expressing our love to. When we recognise their primary love language, we are able to express our love in a way that speaks more clearly and loudly to them and meets their needs, allowing the relationship to flourish.

I was astounded researching this article to see what a prolific author Gary Chapman is. Now I’m keen to add some more of his books to my overflowing “to read” pile.

Back to birthdays, I appreciated these words of wisdom by Louise Hay, “Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.”